dating stories

um…so i guess i’m dating someone

that’s really weird to say. i’ve enjoyed entertaining my fans for so long on this blog. haha. well, i guess i finally met someone that i don’t hate. that sounds a little like when someone gives a backhanded compliment like “well you’re not ugly…”

ok, i will give myself a real compliment and say that i finally met someone that i LIKE, that likes me BACK. weird concept. i’m still trying to get used to it. anyway, i had done a lot of soul searching recently, which included: telling Cookie I have to cut all communication with him because that’s what i need to do in order to move on with my life and stop thinking about him, making a vision board, reading “The Soulmate Secret” and following the exercises in it which include - being specific on what you are looking for in your soulmate, such as physically and non-physically. oh, another thing that really helped was the hypnotherapy session that i had with a friend of mine. in it, i wanted to focus and find out what is blocking me from dating anyone. it was a very surreal experience because i was definitely put under. i felt my subconscious talking but i could hear it and i knew exactly what i was saying. my eyes were fluttering and i felt like i was spinning and falling but not scared. anyway, it was revealed that i felt like i didn’t deserve to be loved and i felt guilty from the “bad” things i have done in the past. after admitting that to myself, for the next few months i worked on accepting the past and feeling deserving of love. i told a good friend of mine that i finally felt ready to love someone and i felt like i was ready to have that in my life. the secret works in weird ways, because the whole visualizing and imagining that what you want you already have, is really powerful. i felt stupid saying it, but i was saying out loud to myself, “my boyfriend…”, and “my husband…”, and completing the sentence with something that i would like to say after it. three weeks later, i actually am revising an rsvp with a friend asking her if i can take “the guy i’m seeing” to the party with me.

i don’t want to jump the gun or say anything too soon, but i have a really good feeling about this guy. regardless of what happens, i’m really happy with myself and happy that i feel like i do deserve to be loved and to be treated well.

happiness and confidence is definitely an attraction, because i feel as though more guys are flirting with me now, including guys from my past. who knew?!

ahhhhh

things that have happened since i last posted:

deleted my Cupidtino account after a week
told b&w cookie that i’m cutting off communication with him
told the young musician friend that i liked him but was told he just liked me as a friend; hooked up with him anyway (my idea)
joined OKC
went on 3 dates with 3 different guys
liked 2 of them
really liked one of them
went on a second date with the one i really liked…

to be continued…

Cupidtino

i just signed up. i love macs. let’s see if mac users love me.

i won’t let you get the best of me, match!

i canceled my match subscription before the last day. i took down my photos, changed my username, and hid my profile. if you hide your profile, it still comes up in searches, which is weird. anyway, i will do a summary of all the dates i’ve been on when i have a moment to write them all down. its been quite a feat, and a big time and energy waster (i say waster because no success has come of it). i need to tell myself that THIS IS REALLY IT. that i’m not going to join again. ever. you are my witnesses. its so draining being disappointed. this (internet dating) may work for some people, but it clearly hasn’t worked for me. maybe others were at a better place in their life/mind/body, where it allows them to attract and be attracted to others in that way, but i just don’t have the patience. i think it is partly LA. i know, i know - one cannot blame the place but in this case i think it really is true. LA is a hard place to get to know anyone. finding friends is hard enough but to find someone that you “click” with is even harder. a lot of the couples i’ve met who seem happy and have been together for awhile met through work. i’ve been working at the same place for 6 years and that has not worked for me. the company i work for is large and i just get in the “high school” mode where i feel like i’m not one of the cool kids and i either give up or avoid. also, i am unhappy at work. so i am planning on quitting. FINALLY. just to leave there will help clear my mind and perhaps change my attitude. its tough because i know people can feel the negative energy and therefore do not want to approach me. this is something i just need to change, within myself. so hopefully, hopefully…better things will be coming sooner than later. TBContinued

Dating life still sucks

more DUMP

So I met up with that guy i wasn’t that interested in. When we spoke, it was ok. OK enough for me to overlook his receding hairline and lack of a real job. OK to overlook the fact that he lives 40+ minutes away. This is called desperation in the mind. That desperation convinced me that I was having a decent time…until he gave me the “My car is THIS way” (pointing in the opposite direction and walking there), and it was clear he wasn’t interested. Excuse me? He isn’t interested in ME? oh hell no. Now I know I’ve lowered my standards. DUMP on that.

The next date wasn’t planned. I had been playing phone tag with the Bartender and I just thought I would try and see if he was available. Voila, he was. and i met him. cute. he was easy to talk to, flirtatious…seemed like he’s done this before. ok so he smokes, has no real job, and i drove to the other side of town to see him. but he’s cute and i was having a good time. i didn’t want to feel like i had to wait for the other ball to drop but it did…in a way. let’s just say that he is in a calendar. and my friend i told this to asked if he “spilled into the following month”. i told my friend he barely made it to the end of his featured month. dammit, why am i always cursed with this! well, i didn’t entertain it, but i did have a good time with him. as far as eye candy, sure. as far as future, DUMP.

Saturday I met up with an old dude. This old dude was 43. he favorited me, winked at me, and sent me an email. that is why i agreed to meet him. persistence. so i met him for coffee. he seemed fit for his age, and not so bad looking. we had decent conversation at the restaurant which was indoors, and had somewhat flattering lighting, because when we went outside and he walked me to my car, i could see the rays of light soaking into his wrinkle lines and his suspected turkey neck was flapping a bit in the wind. they say the neck is the first indication of age, and they are right. i should have asked to see his ID because i think he was probably older than 43. how sad. besides that, I thought he would be good for a friend of mine, but he clearly stated he was not interested in women his age or older. gag. DUMP.

Sunday, I met up with this 38 or 39 year old guy who seemed kind of cute, but more rugged. I referred to him as a “lumberjack” to my roommate. I met him, and he looked like his photos, but conversation with him was like PULLING TEETH. I defaulted to looking at the TVs for conversation. it was really painful and I couldn’t take it. The free meal was not worth the pain and suffering I had to go through with him. DUMP.

I changed my profile YET AGAIN, and I think it is just getting bitter. I don’t blame it if no one wants to write to me. i think i’ve given a clear indication that i’m finished with match. AGAIN.

Since then…

it has not been exciting. i was hopeful for something new. unfortunately, its the same old dance. i changed my profile age back to my current age, and i am still getting emails and winks, so i guess that means i have a good written profile. but besides that, i am getting these older guys writing me. which isn’t so bad, because that’s the fact of the matter. it all changed back after i had a conversation with at 26 year old living in bakersfield who could only talk about his love for techno music. why didn’t he write that in his profile? oh yeah, because i would NEVER WRITE HIM BACK if he originally wrote that. i digress. let’s talk about the other bad dates.

after the persian, i had a date with actor dude. i liked what he said in his profile, how he was just interested in meeting people, seemed to have the same outlook on the LA scene. of course when i met him, he was cuter in his airbrushed headshots (touche). i could overlook that. but the way he walked was like he was 20lbs heavier of pure muscle. that, which he was not. you know the type, walking with the arms away from the body as to form an imaginary box. ew. anyway, the night went on and i continued to drink. it was drinking my sorrows away of how pathetic it has been instead of for fun. that ended badly with him thinking i wanted something from him which he, upon further investigation, did not have. i was so mean, but rightfully so. i told him it wasn’t doing it for me and i just needed to leave. i also told him that i was used to being with blk guys and that he shouldn’t hate them b/c of that. i told him he’d “find someone”, and left. since then, he continued to stalk my profile and write me hello messages which i had to stop by saying i wasn’t interested in him. which he responded with, “are you playing hard to get?”. idiot.

next was a good date. a good date with a good guy from a good background with a good job who looked good. he was on the nerdy side, cute in a bit of an awkward way, but i could definitely see myself dating this guy. we had an interesting conversation of 2 hours and he left me by giving me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. i liked this guy! but apparently he didn’t feel the same way. or was scared. or something. because i asked him out and he just said he was busy and going out of town. of course. my luck. malo.

after that, i got an email from a guy who lived somewhat far away, but was proactive in the calling and texting. he seemed cool. we spoke and i agreed to meet him. i was a bit ill when i met him, but the breakdown is he was shorter than stated, heavier, and had bad skin. on top of that, he was basically trying to move me into his town already and talked to me as if i were property. DUMP.

monday i finally met up with with this chef dude. my partner in crime who is also on match (a girl) joined us. turns out they had more in common than i did with him. i was also not that attracted to him. DUMP.

today i met a guy who is older than me. i told said friend on match his username. she looked him up and divulged to me she met him 5 years ago on match, slept with him, and found him boring and never talked to him again. great. we went for lunch and she was right about the boring part. luckily i had no desire to find out of the other statements held water.

tonight, i’m meeting up with a guy i’m not that interested in but he wrote me and we agreed to meet. i’m kind of at the point where i don’t really care anymore and am going to need a break soon. good thing i only signed up for 3 months. 6 months would be KILLER.

i’m back…did you miss me?

not sure if you missed me, but match missed me…and my money. so i joined about 3 weeks ago, and went on my first face to face meeting yesterday. technically there was one before that, but i don’t consider it a formal meeting if the guy meets you and says he hates your choice of restaurant because he can’t stand the smell of the place, then suggests another place but runs away. long story. i don’t really want to get into it because its not worth it, but anyway, he was an ass and his appearance was nothing that made me feel upset about his attitude. moving on…

i met up with someone on saturday. in his photo (yes, ONE photo), he looked kind of cute, with those trendy glasses and anime hair. when i met him at starbucks, he did not have the anime hair nor the glasses. not as cute as the pic, but willing to give him a chance, i greeted him and started to chat. our chat turned into soapboxing the fact that asians have a tendency to segregate themselves from other races in college. on top of that, he told me he was just ‘riding out’ his 6 free months on match and didn’t really care much for it. bitter much? anyway, needless to say, this meeting did not prove to be fruitful, but i think i could be friends with him. i can imagine my asian roommate liking him or getting along with her and her friends.

today, i was supposed to meet up with sculptor-guy. we had exchanged some emails and had plans to meet up at a certain time for coffee, but it was nearing 4pm, and he had not called me. i took that as inconsiderate, so i emailed him telling him i didn’t hear from him so i made other plans. he quickly called me after i sent that, apologized, and we had a decent conversation. he said he wants to meet up with me, so we said we would try for the following weekend.

surprisingly, a match guy who had been texting me and trying to get together asked me if i wanted to meet up at 5:30. i was free, so i figured why not. we went for ice cream, and he spent the entire meeting interrogating me. not sure if that was a good thing or not, but he pretty much told me he is ready to meet the one already and was trying to figure out if he was my type and basically why did my past relationships fail. he then, told me about how his last gf was the same ethnicity as me but pretty much dumb as a brick. not a hard act to follow, i think. but anyway, i think he was a bit nervous but that came out as a little cocky. he did mention more than once that he has “no problem meeting girls”, blah blah blah, and mentioned that he had an expensive sportscar once upon a time until said gf told him he had to sell it because he was attracting too much attention. after hanging out, he asked if i wanted a ride home, but i politely declined because i don’t want to get into the car of a stranger AND have him know where i live. i think he just wanted to impress me with whatever nice car he had. i like that i declined because it showed that i didn’t care about those types of things.

i’m supposed to meet up with an actor boy tomorrow who is supposedly excited to see me. we’ll see how that goes. because as we know, LA is full of flakes and actors are notorious for that.

well, its interesting to be back, but i think i’m back with a better attitude and outlook on life and dating. hopefully that will attract better people that the nightmares i’ve had in the past!!!

the number one killer of a first date

i only have a few minutes, so i can’t write for very long. i wish my date-meeting last night didn’t last very long. its too bad, because i hadn’t dated in a long time (4 months) and i returned to the scene of the crime- OKC. so i joined the site again and went on my first meet-date last night with a guy that seemed pretty promising. he responded to my emails quickly and he seemed cute and willing to meet, etc. when i met him last night at a bar for a drink, i knew. he had the number one kiiller of a first date: HALITOSIS. good lord. i tried to stay as far away from him as possible. see, the thing is, that is really the worst thing. and it is horrible for the people who have it, because they can do everything in their power to try to make it go away, but it won’t. and on this side of the equation, there’s really no divisible way to make it happen. at least with someone ugly, you can turn off the lights. haha. but seriously. i think most people who have “internet” relationships that linger over a long period of time before they meet PROBABLY HAVE HALITOSIS. i am a sensory person. and i am very sensitive with smells. very very wrong. NEXT.

type of the moment

I’ve had many “types” throughout my years. When I was a kid, my crush was on white boys with brown hair. When I was in high school, I was attracted to Latinos. College, I was fascinated with black dudes. Its funny how friends will know you for a certain “type” and just assume you like ANYONE with those characteristics, regardless of personality. I remember there were many a black man a friend would introduce me to, “just because”. I was telling a friend that a year ago my type was the dark, brooding Robert Downey Jr. or Johnny Depp type. Today, I am tickled by the Denis Leary / Sawyer from Lost - troubled, dirty blonde haired type. Throw in a bit of married and I’m all about him. Its funny because I wonder what this says about me. I suppose if you look at it on the surface, I am attracted to danger and that I want to be someone’s savior. I guess one could say I have a combination ADD / god-complex.