i won’t let you get the best of me, match!
i canceled my match subscription before the last day. i took down my photos, changed my username, and hid my profile. if you hide your profile, it still comes up in searches, which is weird. anyway, i will do a summary of all the dates i’ve been on when i have a moment to write them all down. its been quite a feat, and a big time and energy waster (i say waster because no success has come of it). i need to tell myself that THIS IS REALLY IT. that i’m not going to join again. ever. you are my witnesses. its so draining being disappointed. this (internet dating) may work for some people, but it clearly hasn’t worked for me. maybe others were at a better place in their life/mind/body, where it allows them to attract and be attracted to others in that way, but i just don’t have the patience. i think it is partly LA. i know, i know - one cannot blame the place but in this case i think it really is true. LA is a hard place to get to know anyone. finding friends is hard enough but to find someone that you “click” with is even harder. a lot of the couples i’ve met who seem happy and have been together for awhile met through work. i’ve been working at the same place for 6 years and that has not worked for me. the company i work for is large and i just get in the “high school” mode where i feel like i’m not one of the cool kids and i either give up or avoid. also, i am unhappy at work. so i am planning on quitting. FINALLY. just to leave there will help clear my mind and perhaps change my attitude. its tough because i know people can feel the negative energy and therefore do not want to approach me. this is something i just need to change, within myself. so hopefully, hopefully…better things will be coming sooner than later. TBContinued
